Monday, February 18th, 2008...8:14 am
Office pranks that are sure to get you fired
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Don’t like your job? Wish you could get fired but dont have the balls to quit. This list of office pranks is sure to get any one fired. If you work keeps you after doing any of these, WHY DO YOU WANT TO QUIT.
1. Photocopy an entire dictionary and fax it to the CFO.
2. Call phone-sex numbers and transfer the calls at random.
3. (Boss Prank) “Accidentally” send a personal e-mail to the entire company voicing your disapproval of your boss’s constant reference to the CEO as an “ugly, stupid, lazy, spineless pussy”.
4. Write a coworker’s initials in White-Out on the photocopier.
5. Schedule a series of important departmental meetings and forget to show up to them.
6. (Office Prank) Send blank sheets of paper via interoffice mail. (Marked “urgent” and “confidential”, of course.) Remember to send a few to the mailroom; they’ll especially get a kick out of it.
7. Replace a commonly-accessed file on the computer network with a scanned image of your ass. (An updated version of an old classic.)
8. Anonymously post quotes from Adolph Hitler on a company bulletin board. (Quotes about “team spirit” can be particularly inspiring.)
9. Adulterate other people’s lunches: take bites out of sandwiches, sprinkle bacon bits in vegetarians’ salads (also works well with Orthodox Jews), and spike the thermos of iced tea with grain alcohol.
10.(Work Prank ) See how long you can hide a paper bag full of tuna fish in the back of the refrigerator before someone notices it. (Writing someone else’s name on the bag goes without saying.)
11. Put a paper bag full of your own feces in the microwave and leave it cooking on high.
12. Page someone over the company intercom with the message “Your sex-therapist is on the line and wants to reschedule the appointment.”
13. Set a mouse free in the office each day. When the problem becomes an epidemic, send snakes after them.
14. Draw a flip-cartoon of a man running on the bottom of every notepad in the office supply closet.
15. Hide in the supply closet and scare people when they open the door.
16. Put a fake rubber hand in your sleeve, and when a secretary walks by, stick the hand in a paper shredder and scream.
17. When someone is at lunch, use their computer to e-mail a 200 megabyte database file to everyone in the company. The e-mail’s subject, of course, should contain at least one vulgarity.
18. Misfile.
19. Hire a temp to do your job for you.
20. Submit letters of resignation for other employees.
21. Conduct all correspondence with your friend in the next office via Federal Express early-morning next-day delivery.
22. Submit a written complaint to the human resources department that, in your opinion, your boss spends a little too much time looking at pornography.
23. Tape a sign to a female employee’s back that says “I’ve been sexually harassed.”
24. Tape a sign to a female employee’s back that says “Will fuck for promotions.”
25. Dial the phone number of the guy in the next cubicle whenever he walks away from his desk. Hang up before he can run back to answer it. Repeat often.
26. Hire a stripper for the office Christmas party.
27. Send counterfeit memos from the company president, politely letting employees know that they’ve been fired and must clear out their offices and leave the building immediately.
28. Covertly replace people’s PowerPoint presentations with “director’s cut” versions, containing a nice dose of nudity and misleading bar graphs.
29. Report rumors daily via the bathroom wall.
30. Pull a fire alarm while someone is in the bathroom.
31. Make sure your expense report contains at least one reference to the “client meeting” at the “gentleman’s club”.
32. Whenever a coworker makes a mistake, offer them the opportunity to “help you out” in exchange for you not reporting the mistake to their boss.
33. Sneak into the conference room before the next major meeting and place nametags in front of each of the seats. Assign black people to one side of the table and white people to the other.
34. Sew a tag containing a coworker’s name into a jockstrap or bra, and leave it on the center of a conference table before a meeting. (Small sizes of these garments improve performance of the prank.)
35. Post a list of the communists in your company on a conspicuous bulletin board. If you’re not sure who the communists are, take your best guess.
36. Take a stack of resumes from the recruitment department and schedule some interviews for fictional, but high-paying, positions.
37. Post your boss’s telephone number to the alt.sex.prostitution discussion group.
38. Shoot a cap gun, bang some pots and pans, scream into a megaphone, or do whatever else it takes to have an enjoyable surprise birthday party for the senile old bastard that no one has the guts to fire.
39. Suggest to the human resources manager that the company picnic be replaced by a “fun day giving back to society”, volunteering at a recycling center, soup kitchen, or drug rehab center. Increase your chances of success by making the suggestion in a crowded elevator.
40. Hand an envelope to the new guy and ask him to deliver the “cancellation of pension” memo to the sixty-four year old mailroom clerk.
41. See how many funerals in a row you can get away with leaving work early for.
42. Wallpaper your office with pictures of Christ.
And finally:
43. Respond to every request by your boss with the phrase “I would prefer not to.”
Source: This Blog
Boss Pranks, OFfICe prAnKs, Work Pranks
13 Comments
February 18th, 2008 at 8:55 am
[...] pranks that are sure to get you fired This is so much better than quitting… Office pranks that are sure to get you fired| Computer Pranks Central Attached Thumbnails [...]
February 18th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
You must work in a pretty uptight office if these would get you fired. My office is a prank battlefield. Someone put a deaf fish in my desk friday afternoon - lovely smell this morning, but I git him back by throwing the rotten mess in the backseat of his car!!! One guy took a shit right in the middle of the office last week - that was lovely.
February 18th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Lol Hizzoner… Where the hell do you work? Where someone would take a crap in the middle of the office
February 18th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
I think I have done all of these at one time or another.
February 18th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
I love microwaving the bag of crap, that would be AWESOME!
February 18th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
If any one did most of these in my office they’d definitely be let go…
Where is the respect for others property and time?
February 18th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
@oh my…
Some go way to far but as for the respect for peoples property and time… Its only work, its what we do so we can do the stuff we do outside of work.
February 19th, 2008 at 5:42 am
A deaf fish? Wow…good thing it wasn’t dead. (all in good humor).
Another one to get you fired…make sure to disable spell check, and point out superiors’ typos and spelling mistakes.
February 19th, 2008 at 7:32 am
I love it! I should of seen this before I quit my day job!
February 20th, 2008 at 7:08 am
I’ve always wanted to get a shitty job where I knew the manager was a jerk and just be the worst employee to drive them nuts also so I can yell at customers who think it’s fine to treat employees like they are their slaves. I think this would make a great TV show as well.
February 20th, 2008 at 8:29 am
@TomLovesYou - I think MTV had a show back in the day that your goal was to get fired as fast as you possibly can. The faster you got fired the higher the payout, for you and the employer.
March 21st, 2008 at 6:08 am
i used to run around tickling men and women at my work and giving the guys shoulder massages randomly, somehow i never got a sexual harassment complaint, *sigh* good times
March 28th, 2008 at 8:54 am
http://www.getyourselffired.com/
Candidate job matching site itzbig has launched Get Yourself Fired.com. At the site, you superimpose your face (see pic) on a variety of compromising images to then e-mail them to your friends (or boss). You can also peruse some humorous work stress tips. And what viral marketing campaign is complete without a chance to win a $10,000 sweepstakes by simply entering a profile in the itzbig network?
It’s fun for all.
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