Computer Pranks Central

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Some times what every office needs is a good offensive movie quote. This helps to lighten the mood and cements your role as the office jackass. This list of offensive movie quotes is sure to over like gangbusters in your office.

Anchorman
Champ Kind: It is anchor0man, not anchor-lady. And that is a scientific fact.

Brian Fantana: I’ll give this little cookie an hour before we’re doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.

The Big Lebowski
The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don’t need your fuckin’ sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!

Dumb and Dumber
Lloyd: Husband? Wait a minute… what was all that ‘one in a million’ talk?

Airplane
Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

40 Year Old Virgin
David: You know how I know that you’re gay?

Cal: I hired a 90-lb girl to work in the stock room at Smart Tech for you, okay? I should’ve hired a 300-lb guy to lift the 60-inch flat screen, but instead I hired a hot girl who can’t lift an iPod to bring you out of your funk.

Dogma
Jay: I know they were just kids, but we kicked their pube-less asses!

Wedding Crashers
Jeremy Grey: Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye.

Billy Madison
Juanita: Ooh that boy’s a fine piece of work all right. He’s a fine piece of ass though, too.

Billy Madison: You know something? YOU SUCK!

Now no movie quote list about offices could be complete with out Office Space Quotes

Michael Bolton: That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard in my life, Tom.

Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I’m working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I’d say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

Peter Gibbons: Well, maybe you should. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

Samir: Mother… shitter… Son of an… ass. I just…

Samir: Back up in your ass with the resurrection.

Feel free to add other memorable quotes that are not only funny but offensive to use in the office.

Movie Quotes, offensive jokes, Office Jokes